Hello, world.
You wouldn’t believe my surname if I told you, but, by all laws of nominative determinism, I should be currently hovering over your open mouth in a sterile room, charging you three months' rent to tell you that you don't floss enough.
Instead, I’m here. A certified failed genius, 167 IQ Stability 0, with a flair for questionable life choices, a "colourful" history with addiction, have my own bed on the psych ward on speed dial, and a parenting style that mostly consists of making sure nobody is currently on fire.
"Should Have Been Dentist" is exactly what it sounds like: a place for the things I actually have the balls to say. While the rest of the internet is busy "manifesting" their best lives and posting filtered photos of kale, I’ll be over here slagging off the bits of the world that deserve it, and making light hearted jokes about the catastrophic events I call my life.
Another irony of my name is to be happy, despite this, happiness is a fleeting emotion, that either my kids, myself, or any other dick I come into contact with snuffs out, instantaneously.
What can you expect from this blog?
Failed Genius Rants: Why being "gifted and talented" in 1998 was actually a curse. Should be “Gifted and Tainted”
Parenting Reality: The unfiltered, un-glittered truth about raising tiny anarchists without wanting yourself to get a nice long hot bath…with a toaster.
Mental Health & Addiction: Raw, blunt, and probably a bit too honest. No "live, laugh, love" posters allowed. More like “Lax, Lousy, Loon”
Actually Helpful Stuff: I’ll be sharing Digital Self-Help Tools that don’t suck and pointing you toward Mental Health Charities that actually do the work.
I’m not here to be your guru. I’m here to be me—witty, annoyed, and hopefully, a reminder that you aren’t the only one who didn’t end up where the brochure promised. A blog for the over-educated and under-medicated. Stick around if you like your truth without the anaesthetic.
— Should have been Dentists